martes, 17 de noviembre de 2009

El post perfecto

Mucho me quejo de mi trabajo, de la tienda, de los clientes, de las reparaciones, ... y mucho digo lo que ansío irme al campo. Pero, ¿Cómo sería un post en semejantes circunstancias?

Pues más o menos:

Que tardecica me han dado hoy. Esta mañana he ido a la civilización a por navajas, que sólo me quedaba una y tenía la hoja mellada. He tenido que quedarme a comer por el camino, la burra no daba más de sí y tuvimos que abrevar a mitad de trayecto.

Cuando llego me encuentro la vaya abierta y tres ovejas se me han metido en casa. Como el colchón es de paja se lo han papeado entero. La verdad es que me viene hasta mejor, que ya picaba bastante dormir en semejante camastro. Para colmo han estado retozando por toda la habitación, hasta se me han meado en la chimenea y cosas peores. Parecía aquello un botellón de quinceañeros. A la mierda la leña, mañana cortaré más que ya no me queda.

Luego hemos salido, hacía un frío de la hostia. Se me ha cagado un pájaro en la flauta y me ha pillado cogiendo aire, casi me atraganto. Menos mal que tenía a mano la garrafa de agua anisada y me ha quitado el mal sabor. Luego de limpiar el instrumento seguía sonando como siempre (fatal). Estoy empezando a pensar que es culpa mía, el año que viene me traigo una pandereta.

Bernardo, el perro ovejero, tenía el día gracioso. Ya me extrañaba ver como observaba agazapado detrás de un matorral. El muy cabrón esperaba a que se pusieran las ovejas a pastar para apontocar las patas delanteras sobre sus lomos e intentar crear una nueva especie animal anti-darwiniana. Digno del Doctor Moureau, sin duda alguna, pero no queda bonito. Al final ha pasado lo que tenía que pasar, le han mordido en la entrepierna y ahora el jodido bicho ladra ahora como un chiguagua de actriz de Hollywood.

Para colmo se ha puesto ha llover, y de qué manera. Así que he llegado empapado a casa, sin cama donde acostarme, sin chimenea que me de calor y sin Adelita (mi oveja "de compañía") que el puto Bernardo la a dejado que anda como John Wayne.

Cada día me dan más ganas de dejar el pastoreo y montar una tienda de informática, al menos los ordenadores los apagas y dejan de dar por culo.

Salud y suerte

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